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My worst hangover, and I don't remember any other details such as where or when, I slowly became aware that I was alive, I was some sort of living... thing, and I didn't know what kind.

Then there was the time I was with my older brother and his friends, serious drinkers, and we were driving back from an aborted camping trip on the beach at Cape Cod national park, after we were rousted by park rangers who came up on us by boat, shone a big fucking light on us and yelled at us with a bullhorn to get the fuck out. As we were speeding the 6 or 8 hours turnpike drive home in a dilapidated converrtible with the top down, me riding shotgun, I vomited copiously over the side, which sprayed back on my brother, and his friends. This song came on the radio...

“China Is Breeding Giant Pigs the Size of Polar Bears”
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