:-((

Well obviously you switch from Mumbaikars to Romanians - they have paler skin, closer accents, less alien names, and of course it wont be long now until Romania is a full EU member making travel even easier...

What happens if there's another hung parliament but nobody can build enough support to make a coalition?

I'd love it if the country united behind writing "Fuck off all of you" across the boxes and the majority was spoilt ballots.

Out of those, three are definitely arseholes, but I don't think I've ever heard of Rory Stewart, who seems to be a curious character.

He seems to want to focus on rural areas and communities, and doesn't mention any contentious policies.

But at the same time can you trust anyone who chose such a shit photographer for his "look at me being prime-ministerial" photo...?

There's a 40 minute BBC4 interview from 3 weeks ago where he apparently discusses it, but it doesn't have a transcript (what happened to BBC accessibility?) and I don't know if I can be arsed listening.

There's also a Guardian article saying:

He shows a Cameronesque irri­tation with government: "Excessive regulation, red tape, all the stuff people complain about. You have got more hope with the Tories of having people who speak that kind of language; you can say that sort of thing without them getting defensive . . . I found student politics when I was at university a bit uncomfortable," he says. "I think the Conservative party has changed and I have changed."

That's from 2010 when he first became an MP, so I am wondering how his position has changed, but also whether he's relevant - the Wikipedia article has been updated and Rory's the only candidate showing zero endorsements.