Ranter's Cornersigh :(

  

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 From:  cynicoid   29 May 2014 07:38 
 To:  ALL 1 of 48 
41072.1 
Do kids today not know how to pick up a phone and speak to someone, especially when it's a complicated issue? And before sending text after text try using a search engine !

A bit drawn out but the following is what my 19yo niece asked me - via text messages.

N: Have u gt ne puter prts lying around ?
M: Like what ?
N: Mmry n stuff.
M: What type of memory ? (lists different types)
N: Dunno.
M: What's the problem ?
N: Running slow (It's a fairly good spec W8 PC less than 4 months old, but has that many programs running at startup NASA would struggle)
M: When doing what ?
N: Playing games and stuff
M: Stuff ?
N: Video editing
M: What graphics card do you have ?
N: Graphics card ?
M: (Explains how to check GPU)
M: Onboard or plug-in ?
N: Eh?

Explains how to check and finding they're onboard sends a link to buy a decent card. Also sends link for memory checker and upgrade.

5 days later, by text again ;

N: Ok gt bits wht do I do ?

Explain how to install components, in great detail.

N: No difference.
M: Have you disabled Onboard graphics in the BIOS ?
N: Eh ?

Explains in great detail once more.

M: Ok now ?
N: Mmm, I'll let u knw.

Couple of days later I popped round to visit - 'Computer sorted now ?' ''It was too confusing SO I GAVE IT TO MY BROTHER AND JUST BOUGHT A NEW ONE'' !!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGH....

As I arrive home I get a text -

N: All my courseworks and photos on my old PC, can I put it on my new one ?

I didn't reply.
2 minutes later;

N: I can't login to Facebook.

Turns phone off...
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 From:  koswix   29 May 2014 08:25 
 To:  cynicoid      2 of 48 
41072.2 In reply to 41072.1 
LOL

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If Feds call you and say something bad on me, it may prove what I said are truth, they are afraid of it.
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 From:  ANT_THOMAS   29 May 2014 09:18 
 To:  cynicoid      3 of 48 
41072.3 In reply to 41072.1 
I try my best not to be tech support these days.

My neighbour in his 80s recently got a tablet and his son (who lives down in Devon I think) put all his BT billing online. Every couple of months he comes round asking me to help him login to his BT account to check his bill. The same neighbour was on holiday about 6 months ago and a BT Homehub arrived at ours. I knew the day he got back there would be a request to setup his broadband (thankfully it was straight forward and "just worked").

My issue here isn't the old neighbour, it's the son who gave all this tech to his elderly parents without showing them how to actually use it properly.
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 From:  99% of gargoyles look like (MR_BASTARD)   29 May 2014 10:06 
 To:  cynicoid      4 of 48 
41072.4 In reply to 41072.1 
Your problem lies in the opening text.

This:
N: Have u gt ne puter prts lying around ?
M: Like what ?

Should be this:
N: Have u gt ne puter prts lying around ?
M: I'm terribly sorry, but I don't understand buffoon. Could you please translate this into an accepted language such as English? Thank you so much for your understanding, and have a great day!
 

truffy.gifbastard by name
bastard by nature
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 From:  milko   29 May 2014 11:35 
 To:  99% of gargoyles look like (MR_BASTARD)      5 of 48 
41072.5 In reply to 41072.4 
Straying dangerously close to buffoon waters with that last sentence! 
milko
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 From:  Manthorp   29 May 2014 12:17 
 To:  milko      6 of 48 
41072.6 In reply to 41072.5 
John Waters' less successful younger brother?
"We all have flaws, and mine is being wicked."
James Thurber, The Thirteen Clocks 1951
 
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 From:  JonCooper   29 May 2014 15:46 
 To:  ALL 7 of 48 
41072.7 
I used to help everyone who asked, now I just say all my knowledge is 10 years out of date and I can't help

mostly because of the lack of appreciation, 4-5 hours fixing a PC = cheers mate from people who will happily pay someone to spend 1/2 an hour washing their car.
Jon
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 From:  Manthorp   29 May 2014 16:15 
 To:  JonCooper      8 of 48 
41072.8 In reply to 41072.7 
I ask for a bottle of good vodka for any sizeable PC job.  You would be amazed how many people believe that Smirnoff is good vodka.
"We all have flaws, and mine is being wicked."
James Thurber, The Thirteen Clocks 1951
 
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 From:  ANT_THOMAS   29 May 2014 16:19 
 To:  Manthorp      9 of 48 
41072.9 In reply to 41072.8 
Glens next time then?
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 From:  Manthorp   29 May 2014 16:38 
 To:  ANT_THOMAS      10 of 48 
41072.10 In reply to 41072.9 
I have *so* scored you down.
"We all have flaws, and mine is being wicked."
James Thurber, The Thirteen Clocks 1951
 
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 From:  99% of gargoyles look like (MR_BASTARD)   29 May 2014 17:10 
 To:  Manthorp      11 of 48 
41072.11 In reply to 41072.8 
If you're going to make a martini it doesn't really matter IMO. OTOH, if drinking neat, slightly chilled, I'm rather fond of Grey Goose. Even if it is French (!)

What recommendeth thou?

truffy.gifbastard by name
bastard by nature
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 From:  Manthorp   29 May 2014 17:21 
 To:  99% of gargoyles look like (MR_BASTARD)      12 of 48 
41072.12 In reply to 41072.11 
Yup, Grey Goose or Belvedere.  Nothing else I've tasted approaches them, though I won't turn my refuse Absolut.  But then I won't refuse brake fluid.

And for me, it's always best straight from the freezer.
"We all have flaws, and mine is being wicked."
James Thurber, The Thirteen Clocks 1951
 
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 From:  ANT_THOMAS   29 May 2014 17:47 
 To:  Manthorp      13 of 48 
41072.13 In reply to 41072.12 
Grey Goose and Belvedere, shame they're now the brands of choice for weekend millionaire wankers across the land.
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 From:  Manthorp   29 May 2014 18:31 
 To:  ANT_THOMAS      14 of 48 
41072.14 In reply to 41072.13 
Indeed, but they were good vodkas before the wankers came along and they'll still be good vodkas after they've all fucked off.
"We all have flaws, and mine is being wicked."
James Thurber, The Thirteen Clocks 1951
 
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 From:  ANT_THOMAS   29 May 2014 18:49 
 To:  Manthorp      15 of 48 
41072.15 In reply to 41072.14 
I've still got some Koskenkorva 60% that I should get in the freezer. Potent stuff is that.
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 From:  Manthorp   29 May 2014 19:48 
 To:  ANT_THOMAS      16 of 48 
41072.16 In reply to 41072.15 
I came home from Jerusalem with one and a half litres of Kosher 95.  It was so volatile that the evaporation chilled your palate and tongue.  What taste it had was bloody disgusting.
"We all have flaws, and mine is being wicked."
James Thurber, The Thirteen Clocks 1951
 
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 From:  Dave!!   29 May 2014 21:06 
 To:  Manthorp      17 of 48 
41072.17 In reply to 41072.8 
Yeah, my dad recently fixed a PC issue for a guy he knows, just asked for a nice bottle of whisky in return. Received a small bottle of Jack Daniels. (fail)
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 From:  Manthorp   29 May 2014 22:45 
 To:  Dave!!      18 of 48 
41072.18 In reply to 41072.17 
Deary, deary me.  We're going to have to specify in future, which rather undermines our intended friendly exchange vibe.
"We all have flaws, and mine is being wicked."
James Thurber, The Thirteen Clocks 1951
 
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 From:  Woggy   30 May 2014 07:51 
 To:  JonCooper      19 of 48 
41072.19 In reply to 41072.7 
This is spot on, years ago even ended up at a work colleagues house fixing their PC till gone 10pm on a friday night with just a, thanks Al, I'll get you a few beers. (Beers never turned up,  nd any way I'd rather have £30/40 quid for my 5hrs work)
drag.gif
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 From:  Chris (CHRISSS)   30 May 2014 13:17 
 To:  ALL 20 of 48 
41072.20 
Any suggestions for a decent (ish) bottle of whisky for my grandfather's 80th? Funnily enough the only person who's ever given me anything for working on his computer.
Me
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