Idle Chit ChatUnnatural sex

  

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 From:  99% of gargoyles look like (MR_BASTARD)   10 Nov 2009 09:40 
 To:  ALL 1 of 31 
36817.1 
Caroline and Steve Cartwright, a Wearside couple who's nightly sexual manoeuvres were described as "murder" and "unnatural" at Newcastle Crown Court, are accused of breaching a noise abatement notice when the delectable Mrs Cartwright's gentle moans reached levels up to 47dB (recorded in a room in the house next door).

Mrs Cartwright is using Article 8 of the Human Rights Act to argue she has a right to "respect for her private and family life".

Notwithstanding that she probably loses this right by inflicting her "private and family life" on her neighbours (upon whom the act presumably also confers a right to private and family life), so it can't be /that/ private, can anything sexual about Mrs (or indeed Mr) Cartwright be considered 'natural'?

I mean, I doubt that even teh's own Throb would.

bastard by name, bastard by nature
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 From:  Manthorp   10 Nov 2009 09:52 
 To:  99% of gargoyles look like (MR_BASTARD)      2 of 31 
36817.2 In reply to 36817.1 
I've had 'em both. They were about as natural as Sunny Delight.

I required a blue pill sandwich and two Moorlock masks in order to retain turgidity. But by jings, they're squeally.
"We all have flaws, and mine is being wicked."
James Thurber, The Thirteen Clocks 1951

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 From:  JonCooper   10 Nov 2009 12:25 
 To:  ALL 3 of 31 
36817.3 
It doesn't seem all that loud - acording to this thing I found ~

dB(A) Overall Level Community Noise Levels (Outdoors) Home and Industry Noise Levels Subjective Loudness (Relative to 70 dB)
120 Uncomfortably Loud Military jet aircraft take-off from aircraft carrier with afterburner at 50 ft . . . 130 dB Oxygen Torch . . . 121 dB 32 times as loud
110 Turbo-fan aircraft at takeoff power at 200 ft . . . 118 dB Riveting machine . . . 110 dB 

Rock band . . . 108 - 114 dB

 16 times as loud
100 Very loud Boeing 707 or DC-8 aircraft at one nautical mile (6080 ft) before landing . . . 106 dB 

Jet flyover at 1000 feet . . . 103 dB 

Bell J-2A helicopter at 100 ft . . . 100 dB

 8 times as loud
90 Boeing 737 or DC-9 aircraft at one nautical mile (6080 ft) before landing . . . 97 dB 

Power mower . . . 96 dB 

Motorcycle at 25 ft . . . 90 dB

 Newspaper press . . . 97 dB 4 times as loud
80 Car wash at 20 ft . . . 89 dB 

Propeller plane flyover at 1000 ft . . . 88 dB 

Diesel truck 40 mph at 50 ft . . . 84 dB 

Diesel train 45 mph at 100 ft . . . 83 dB

 Food blender . . . 88 dB 

Milling machine . . . 85 dB 

Garbage disposal . . . 80 dB

 2 times as loud
70 Moderately loud High urban ambient sound . . . 80 dB 

Passenger car 65 mph at 25 ft . . . 77 dB 

Freeway at 50 ft from pavement edge 10 a.m. . . . 76 dB

 Living room music . . . 76 dB 

Radio or TV-audio. vacuum cleaner . . . 70 dB

 70 dB(A)
60 Air conditioning unit at 100 ft . . . 60 dB Cash register at 10 ft . . . 65-70 dB 

Electric typewriter at 10 ft . . . 64 dB 

Dishwasher (Rinse) at 10 ft . . . 60 dB 

Conversation . . . 60 dB

 1/2 as loud
50 Quiet Large transformers at 100 ft . . . 50 dB 1/4 as loud
40 Bird calls . . . 44 dB 

Lowest limit of urban ambient sound . . . 40 dB
10 Just audible
0 Threshold of Hearing
     
 

Jon
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 From:  99% of gargoyles look like (MR_BASTARD)   10 Nov 2009 16:44 
 To:  Manthorp      4 of 31 
36817.4 In reply to 36817.2 
LMAO

bastard by name, bastard by nature
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 From:  99% of gargoyles look like (MR_BASTARD)   10 Nov 2009 16:47 
 To:  JonCooper      5 of 31 
36817.5 In reply to 36817.3 
This is prettier:



You're right, it's not /that/ loud. But it's the thought that counts (puke)

bastard by name, bastard by nature
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 From:  JonCooper   10 Nov 2009 18:49 
 To:  99% of gargoyles look like (MR_BASTARD)      6 of 31 
36817.6 In reply to 36817.5 

yours is much better, couldn't find anything like that

 

[edit] wtf? her 'noise' was somewhere between 'raindrops' and 'normal converstaion' - hardly orgasmic

Jon
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 From:  Oscarvarium (OZGUR)   10 Nov 2009 18:56 
 To:  JonCooper      7 of 31 
36817.7 In reply to 36817.6 
Surely it reached normal conversation levels after coming through the walls, meaning it would have been much louder had it been recorded at ground zero, so to speak.
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 From:  JonCooper   10 Nov 2009 19:05 
 To:  Oscarvarium (OZGUR)      8 of 31 
36817.8 In reply to 36817.7 
I think it would depend on exactly what was being heard
I'd be ok with run-of-the-mill grunts, groans and suchlike
but audible verbal comments...maybe not
Jon
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 From:  99% of gargoyles look like (MR_BASTARD)   10 Nov 2009 19:32 
 To:  JonCooper      9 of 31 
36817.9 In reply to 36817.8 

But you come from Cornwall where grunts and groans count as pillow talk. Along with "baaaaa", of course.

 

<legs it />

bastard by name, bastard by nature
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 From:  Mod_Inside (MODINSIDE)   10 Nov 2009 22:58 
 To:  99% of gargoyles look like (MR_BASTARD)      10 of 31 
36817.10 In reply to 36817.9 
But you come from Cornwall where grunts and groans count as pillow talk. Along with "baaaaa", of course.

<legs it />


lol, good one
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 From:  Gobfounded (YVE)   11 Nov 2009 00:36 
 To:  99% of gargoyles look like (MR_BASTARD)      11 of 31 
36817.11 In reply to 36817.1 
These people in these stories always seem to live in this corner of the country.


It means something to Owen
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 From:  Gobfounded (YVE)   11 Nov 2009 00:37 
 To:  JonCooper      12 of 31 
36817.12 In reply to 36817.3 
quote:
Bird calls . . . 44 dB


I've often wanted to murder a loud bird at 4am in the summer.


It means something to Owen
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 From:  koswix   11 Nov 2009 00:42 
 To:  Gobfounded (YVE)      13 of 31 
36817.13 In reply to 36817.12 
I once got woken up by a loud bird tweeting. So I unfollowed her.

Fista is a reference to the sexual pastime of fisting, during which the penetrator introduces their fist into the anus or vagina of the receiver. The penetrator may use lubricant to ease the passage. I'm not sure what the penetrator gets out of this, other than poo under their fingernails, but there you go. Referring to Vista as Fista indicates that the user feels that they've been fisted by Micro$haft. Whether or not the company used lubricant is a matter of debate. I suspect that it has poo under its fingernails though.
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 From:  ANT_THOMAS   11 Nov 2009 00:48 
 To:  koswix      14 of 31 
36817.14 In reply to 36817.13 
Baddum
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 From:  99% of gargoyles look like (MR_BASTARD)   11 Nov 2009 11:05 
 To:  Gobfounded (YVE)      15 of 31 
36817.15 In reply to 36817.11 
And in this case, she lost hers.

bastard by name, bastard by nature
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 From:  99% of gargoyles look like (MR_BASTARD)   22 Jan 2010 17:18 
 To:  ALL 16 of 31 
36817.16 
In further news, it turns out that the fair Mme Cartwright's love calls had also been a source of complaint by a postman and a woman taking her child to school. Christ, they know how to live in Wearside: sex, a game the whole street can play. I bet they call her the community chest!

Hello?

bastard by name, bastard by nature
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 From:  graphitone   22 Jan 2010 20:20 
 To:  99% of gargoyles look like (MR_BASTARD)      17 of 31 
36817.17 In reply to 36817.16 
</tumbleweed>
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 From:  Gobfounded (YVE)   31 Jan 2010 01:39 
 To:  99% of gargoyles look like (MR_BASTARD)      18 of 31 
36817.18 In reply to 36817.16 
Hot stuff. I can see why the guy is having his mental health assessed in this one.


It means something to Owen
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 From:  99% of gargoyles look like (MR_BASTARD)   31 Jan 2010 19:32 
 To:  Gobfounded (YVE)      19 of 31 
36817.19 In reply to 36817.18 
No amount of drugs can account for that!

bastard by name, bastard by nature
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 From:  99% of gargoyles look like (MR_BASTARD)   30 Jun 2010 07:56 
 To:  ALL 20 of 31 
36817.20 
They never learn, do they? The delectable Mrs Cartwright just cannot hold back when she needs to share her joy of life.

bastard by name, bastard by nature
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