There are these cheap pole lamps from China you can buy at walmart. We've had a couple. They consist of several sections of pole you screw together, the light fixture, and a weighted base that looks and feels solid, but is an incredibly thin plastic shell filled with plaster of paris. After 3-4 years the plastic deteriorates, with predictable consequences.

Yours for a song. And it will fill your soul daily with delight.

Then do the whole thing from wood - it only needs to be more attractive than a concrete filled flower pot on a rope.

Are you saying a concrete filled flower pot on a rope is unattractive?

https://www.wish.com/product/5d4e3cf17319d63a0e86c8f2

This is TOO easy!  :-(

It would take a lot of make up to make me want to make out with one. Do you not agree?

The whole point is to swing it around your head.

Yes, I'd seen this one on my travels around the web. Right idea but probably not substantial enough for a patio door - or wide enough, as the door is 8 cm. And I suspect the easily removable sticky fixing pad might not last beyond the first downpour.

I did love the write-up though. "Simple but magical". Also, and this nearly sold it to me, "No accident: there are always accidents when you squat to keep the traditional one in place..."

Personally, I'm always having accidents when I squat, and I never squat so often as when I'm trying to hold a door open. Or maybe 'squatting to keep the traditional one in place' is a euphemism.

...It's what the laydeeeez always say to me.

Around your head and nowhere near them?

It's their preference.

Finally. And all I have to do now is finish my 14 days quarantine.