Well three obviously.

I have no idea how I am aware of tech that you are not.  It's a phone.  A good one.

https://oneplus.net/uk/2

I gave up paying attention to phones a while back - it was just too depressing.

Other than lacking a keyboard and being 16:9 it does look pretty interesting.

Am kinda tempted... are there any flaws I'm missing that might result in me cursing you for all eternity?

Of course there are flaws Peter! It's you! Admittedly you'll probably be aware of them all already so it's not that wild a question, but still.
(Only ones I know of are: too big, and they don't have a great track record of getting their OS updates out without bugs. It's generally just fine considering the price)

It's only the curse-worthy ones I care about.

It is a tad on the large size, but seems to be within acceptable parameters for my hands, and I don't need it to fit pockets.

Are the updates forced or opt-in? Presumably the former'd still be avoidable by switching from Oxygen to Cyanogen?

Ignoring the lack of a keyboard since no one seems to make them anymore, what's the issue with a 16:9 screen?

It's wrong and unnatural and a symbolic embodiment of the cause of a great deal of the world's pains.

What aspect ratio would you prefer a phone to be?

1. Anything else.

2. In a variety of sizes to allow users to select their preference.

3. 1+√5:2

Get an old iPhone. 3:2 screen, close to your 3.2:2.

I read something about issues with the home button on the Oneplus Two. Something about grounding problems.

Well I did it.

After what initially seemed like a nice checkout screen but turned into a clunky bugfest (hopefully not an omen), I managed to put my order in, get through the shitness of Paypal, complete the payment without being declined (usually the arsewits at PP screw it up), and have received the relevant confirmations.

Now I just need to forget about it for the next 5-10 days so I'm not getting all het up waiting for it. And hope that it doesn't get tangled in the influx of orders they'll probably get over the weekend, where it'll be open ordering (no invite required).

Thanks G! (woot)