I'm sure some of you here have been through the joys of divorce, just wondering what your experience has been with regard to jointly owned properties.

I'm getting ready to sell my flat, and expect to get around £30k once the bills are paid.

The mortgage and deeds are in joint names, so clearly the ex would have a claim for 50% of the equity.

Now For the last 5 and a half years she has contributed precisely 0 to the costs of maintaining the property or paying the mortgage. I've paid out around 45k in mortgage payments in that time so I'm not overly keen to hand her 15 grand when she hasn't contributed to the costs.

I know that when my mum and dad split my mum had to buy out his half (about 10 years after they divorced), but she was allowed to deduct all the mortgage payments and whatnot she'd made from his share of the equity first. I don't know if that's only because there were kids involved and stuff.

Anyone got any experience? I'm hoping to avoid the lawyers if at all possible, but frankly I'd rather pay 30 grand in legal fees than let her have the equity I've built up. I should note that when she left the place was in negative equity so we were unable to sell it at the time.

It's a difficult one because of how bills can be split in a marriage. For example, I remember my dad handling the mortgage and a load of the bills and my mum paying for all the food, clothing, holidays, the car and everything else. Not sure how you stand legally, but it's not as clear cut for reasons such as this.

Yeah, I'm not disputing what was what while we were together (I paid a higher percentage of mortgage, but that was because I earned more. I'm fine with that, that's how things should be).

It's more the what's happened after we split. 5 years of mortgage payments on my own has been hard, I had to move into the tiny bedroom and take a lodger in for the big bedroom in order to make ends meet.

Whenever there have been financial issues (when I lost job etc) she's always been straight on the phone and it was never "what are WE going to do" it was always "how are YOU going to pay it?".


I'll be pretty pissed off if all my efforts to stay above water over the last five years are turned into lining her pockets.

Wow, didn't know that happened mate, sorry to hear it! No legal advice just a massive hug!

Yeah me either! I've put some FREEDOM in the mail for you!

We don't really hug in America, when we want to bond we shoot shit up.  If you get screwed you can come stay with us.

Or he could just go round and shoot her. Problem sorted.

See, that's why you aren't allowed to have guns!

But I thought that's why you had guns.

You may be right, but we don't go around bragging about it!  That's why they take your guns!

No, they have guns so they can shoot their instructors.

Oh it's old news wattsy, we've both moved on with our lives long ago. This is just sorting out the formalities. Thanks for the free hug, though!

Exactly what every 9 year old American dreams of doing I'm sure.

Have another one, this one will cost ya though!

Have I become such a lurker that I missed this? For shame.

Aye!

Knives, exploding bumbershoots, something special in the Christmas pudding or spotted dick...

What else are instructors for?

Seriously, what 9 year old little girl needs to learn to fire an Uzi?  :-[

I think you need to retain a lawyer and get it sorted out. Negative equity when she left and she never paid anything after? Sound to me like a bit of you'll get nothing and like it is in store for her.

Trouble it lawyers is money. Man I hate legal shit.

Do you have any solicitor or lawyer friends to at least point you in the right direction?

Very tough neighbourhood.