Not to mention black pudding artiste.

Is that what you make after drinking too much Guinness?

Exactly. I think his meeting criteria should come down to whether or not you eat black pudding.

Those that don't get to meat with Dan, being those brave staunch fellows, clean living and with clean colons.*



*I don't know whether Dan likes clean colons, but it must be preferable to the alternative.

A clean colon is better than getting a dirty semi 



colon.